Questioning Everything Disney Little To Much

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14 Disney Characters That May Have Sparked Your Sexual Awakening

Remember that moment when girls stopped being gross and boys suddenly started being interesting? 

Chances are that you were watching a Disney movie after school at that very moment and thought to yourself: “Hold on – this character is making me feel things…”

And then you finished eating your smiley potatoes with dinosaur chicken nuggets. Yet the strange feeling of unease followed you for days after.

That thing you experienced is called lust. A sexual awakening, if you like. A rite of passage for every confused kid.

So just to transport you to that magical place again, here’s a list of 14 Disney characters who definitely awoke your sexuality at some point of your childhood.

1. Aladdin – Aladdin

Let’s be honest, there’s just something very sexy about a half-naked street rat running around and fighting the evil. He can DEFINITELY show you the world. And then some.

2. Esmeralda – Hunchback of Notre Dame

Esmeralda not only had a heart of gold and amazing clothes, but she also had LOOKS. A full package, really. People felt things, in their hunches, too.

3. Gaston – Beauty and the Beast   

Admit it. You TOTALLY had a crush on Gaston too.

4. Jasmine – Aladdin

Something about those hips, the way they moved, got you hooked and you just couldn’t look away… still can’t.

5. Ariel – The Little Mermaid

A little basic, we know, but who can resist red hair and a beautiful smile?

6. Kocoum – Pocahontas

Disney knows what’s up and over the years developed an excellent technique of drawing abs with no nipples. Still kinda hot, though. Let’s just leave it at that.
7. Megara – Hercules

If you were not attracted to her per se, you must admit that her perfect hair, the way it moves and stays neat, caused you to feel a bit queer (pun intended).

8. Mulan – Mulan

One of the strongest role models out there. Brave, strong, adventurous. Massive turn on, no doubt about it.

9. Tarzan – Tarzan

Look at the picture. Now back at me. Now back at the picture. Tarzaaaaaaaan.

9. Li Shang – Mulan

Uber-cutie. Even now you wouldn’t mind if he Shang you, let’s be honest.

10. Princess Aurora – Sleeping Beauty

Another cliché, but you just couldn’t help it, could you? Very much like in the case of Meg from Aladdin, we blame the hair. ON FLEEK.

11. Peter Pan – Peter Pan

Another classic. An endless dreamer. Everything is possible with a lad like Peter. Second star on the right and straight till morning, eh?

12. Simba – Lion King

Another lion, another questionable choice. Although you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about it.

13. Pocahontas – Pocahontas

She talked to trees and could see colours in the wind. Enough said. Even as kids we knew that was something special.

14. Jafar – Aladdin

Everyone had a thing for a bad boy, even if they don’t want to admit that. And Jafar, with his dark eyes and mischievous smile, made a lot of people hot.

So if you had a Disney crush as a kid, don’t worry, you are not alone.

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Fan Art Tuesday

I have to comment on this one.
Snow’s all like “Oh My!”
Esmeralda and Jasmine are getting all in it!
Mulan is staring at Tiana’s Chest it looks like, and she’s getting very handsy with Alice’s boobs
Alice is just like “Hey! Hands of my Wonderlands, Sushi Roll!” and isn’t even touching Ariel
Ariel’s all innocent and is holding onto Maid Marians Shoulders.
This is to funny

Underrated and Forgotten

There are, surprisingly, many Disney Princesses, let alone heroines who are normally forgotten, and they have great qualities which should make them one of the favorites.

10.Maid Marian (Robin Hood)

“Princess” is a rather fuzzy term for Disney. Just look at official Disney princess Mulan, who has no family connection to royalty whatsoever.

Maid Marian isn’t the daughter of a King or other powerful figure, but she’s a king’s niece and that’s close enough.

Also, she’s a fox (literally) and the king’s a lion. Try not to think about it too hard.

Maid Marian wears more clothes than most of her fellow animal princesses. But a fox head on a Barbie doll is a creepy prospect that keeps her from going to the big leagues.

9. Princess Giselle (Enchanted)

Giselle is the only Disney princess to start out as an animated character and then transition over to live action in her movie.

‘Enchanted’ parodies many of the Disney princess tropes and Giselle herself is as sweet, kind and naive as Cinderella, Snow White and the rest.

Giselle almost ended up being an official Disney princess. But her most unique quality turned out to be her downfall — making Giselle part of the Disney princess brand would require securing lifelong likeness rights from actress Amy Adams.

Animated Disney princesses never have such problems.

8. Princess Atta and Princess Dot (A Bug’s Life)

If Merida counts as a Disney princess, so should the two daughters of the ant queen from Pixar’s ‘A Bug’s Life.’

Dot is adorable, plucky and as close to a real little girl as an ant can get. Atta is her older sister, a soon-to-be-queen who actually has some royal responsibilities, a rare thing for a Disney princess.

Neither of them are fashion plates, but they’re both strong characters capable of holding their own against a hoard of grasshoppers.

7. Nala (The Lion King)

Is Nala a princess? Simba doesn’t get called a prince much, but he is Mufasa’s son and the future king.

Nala is his betrothed and, according to some theories floating around the internet, might be Mufasa’s daughter. Either way, she has the “related to royalty” part down.

If being a Disney princess is about being a good role model for little girls, then Nala has a lot in her favor. She’s strong enough to take down Simba, ventures out on her own to find help for her pride and calls Simba out for ignoring his responsibilities.

Unfortunately, lions make lousy fashion dolls, so we’re unlikely to see a coronation for Nala anytime soon.

6. Princess Megara (Hercules)

One acceptable way to become a Disney princess is to marry a Disney prince. Megara’s main squeeze is the son of Greek gods, so he’s definitely got parents with some serious power.

Megara is unique among Disney heroines because she’s not merely disinterested in love, but actively opposed to the idea thanks to a bad relationship that literally cost Meg her soul.

That could’ve been very interesting for a Disney princess, but ‘Hercules’ had mixed success in theaters, so Meg never made the cut.

5. Princess Melody ( The Little Mermaid 2)

Everybody loves the Little Mermaid, but how many are aware that there is a sequel to the movie?

Princess Melody is the protagonist in the film The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea. She is the daughter of Ariel. Simply because she is a daughter does not mean she can be left out.

She takes proud interest in her mermaid heritage, and when given the choice of sea or land- even though she has no friends on land and loves the sea, she chooses the land for the happiness of her parents.

4. Princess Faline (Bambi)

Princesses in the animal kingdom can be tricky to identify, but Faline is a pretty clear-cut case. Bambi is the young prince of the forest. Faline is his mate. Conclusion: princess.

Unfortunately for Faline, she and her fellow animals princesses can never wear beautiful clothes, which seems to be a requirement for official Disney princesses.

3. Princess Kida Nedakh (Atlantis: The Lost Empire)

Unlike most Disney princesses, Kida is a formidable warrior. She is the daughter of the King of Atlantis and actually becomes the queen by the movie’s end, another rarity for a Disney princess.

Kida’s chances of ever being an official Disney princess are hindered by the poor performance of her movie and the lack of Atlanteans interested in buying Disney merchandise.

2. Princess Tiger Lily (Peter Pan)

Being the daughter of a chief doesn’t make Tiger Lily a princess, but ‘Peter Pan’ isn’t known for its accurate depiction of Native Americans.

In addition to good fashion sense, Disney princesses are supposed to have personal strengths that little girls can emulate.

Tiger Lily is certainly brave, refusing to tell Captain Hook the location of Peter Pan’s hideout even when her own life is at stake.

But she never speaks and her role in the film is mainly being rescued by Peter and flirting with him afterwards.

1. Princess Eilonwy (The Black Cauldron)

Most of the princesses Disney has chosen to forget about come from films that were not financially successful, an understatement in the case of ‘The Black Cauldron.’

Eilonwy had the double misfortune of starring in a massive flop and being a major downgrade of the strong-willed character from the book on which the film is based.

Eilonwy just doesn’t have much to do and the fact that she’s a princess is only barely mentioned.

Simply because their films were made in the long lost Disney days, doesn’t mean they should simply be forgotten!

 


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Fan Art Tuesday


Inside Out Theory

Theory: Bing Bong from Inside Out isn’t dead, but actually a monster from Monsters, Inc. who Riley thought was imaginary.

At first look, it seems like Riley’s imaginary friend, Bing Bong, sacrifices himself in Inside Out so that Joy can remain with Riley, but this Reddit theory poses that he wasn’t an imaginary friend at all, but instead a monster from Monsters, Inc. Bing Bong entertains Riley when she is a child, just like Mike and Sully did with Boo, but when Riley grows up, she makes the assumption that the monster was something she had imagined when she was small.

It fits in with the previously mentioned Pixar theory and further explains the monster energy crisis in Monsters, Inc. One Redditor says, “The way Inside Out has had an effect on the monsters’ world is that Inside Out showed us that emotions are living entities and create physical memories. And if the monsters have in fact been collecting memories, or rather, emotions, then that would explain their energy crisis.”


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Fan Art Tuesday


Disney Never Has Moms

Theory: None of the Disney protagonists have mothers because Walt Disney was still mourning the loss of his own mother.

It’s true: Most of the Disney princess movies always seem to feature strong dads — like Belle’s father Maurice the inventor, Princess Jasmine’s father the Sultan and Ariel’s dad King Triton — but the moms have either passed away or are just absent without explanation, and one Disney exec recently gave his sad theory as to why.

“Walt Disney, in the early 1940s… bought a house for his mom and dad to move into. He had the studio guys come over and fix the furnace, but when his mom and dad moved in, the furnace leaked and his mother died,” said Disney producer, Don Hahn. “He never would talk about it, nobody ever does. He never spoke about that time because he personally felt responsible because he had become so successful that he said, ‘Let me buy you a house.’ It’s every kid’s dream to buy their parents a house and just through a strange freak of nature — through no fault of his own — the studio workers didn’t know what they were doing.”

Hahn added, “There’s a theory, and I’m not a psychologist, but he was really haunted by that. That idea that he really contributed to his mom’s death was really tragic. If you dig, you can read about it. It’s not a secret within their family, but it’s just a tragedy that is so difficult to even talk about. It helps to understand the man a little bit more… to me, it humanizes Walt. He was devastated by that, as anyone would be.”

Bambi seems to be an exception, but that film was released prior to Disney’s mother’s death.


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Fan Art Tuesday


The Pixar Theory: This Guy Had a Lot of Time On His Hands

Theory: All Pixar-produced movies are interwoven.

This beautifully well-thought-out and comprehensive theory by self-proclaimed conspirer, Jon Negroni, lays out the ways in which all Pixar films mingle and gives “a working narrative that ties all of the Pixar movies into one cohesive timeline with a main theme.” Films involved include Toy Story, A Bug’s Life, Toy Story 2, Monsters, Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars, Ratatoille, Wall-E, Up, Toy Story 3, Cars 2, Brave and Monsters University.

You can read his incredible essay here, but in a nutshell it says all of the characters in Pixar movies live in the same universe, just in different times, and the films are seeking to illustrate the connection between humans, animals and the environment. Brave is the first and last movie in the timeline and Boo from Monster’s Inc. and The Witch from Brave are the same person. The Witch has discovered time travel and all of the movies center around her search for Sully, whose image can be seen briefly in Brave on a piece of wood.

“Her love for Sully is, after all, the crux of the entire Pixar universe,” says Negroni. “The love of different people of different ages and even different species finding ways to live on Earth without destroying it because of a lust for energy.”


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Fan Art Tuesday