Questioning Everything Disney Little To Much

Disney

What If?

I’ve been letting this one formulate for a while. I’ve been able to watch this movie enough times to believe that this theory has some decent foundations. There are no shortages of posts floating around the internet about the plot holes in this movie. However, I think that the theory I am about to lay out might solve almost all of them. What if the trolls were behind…. everything?

Let’s start at the beginning . Elsa has just nearly killed Anna and the King & Queen rush to trolls for help. This signals a previous relationship between the royals of Arendelle and the trolls. What kind of relationship isn’t clear but we know that the King only turns to this group because the trolls are fluent in the workings of magic. Not only does the Troll King understand Elsa’s powers completely, he is even able to heal Anna & even change her memories. But then, the Troll King has a chat with Elsa. He shares with her that her magic has the potential for great beauty and great danger which further exacerbates the situation engendering fear in both Elsa and her father.  So why didn’t the Troll King just tell them then that ‘Love’ was the answer? Instead he gives a vague command to the King that he must help her learn to ‘control it.’

Let’s look a little more at the character of the trolls. We see early on that Kristoff is ‘adopted’  by one of the female rock trolls. She surprises him and Sven and states that she is going to keep them. While cute and endearing, we only seem to accept this because it appears young Kristoff is without a family. But that can’t be true. How is he working with the ice-farmers or feeding/clothing himself and his reindeer? Possible, but I don’t know.  Then later when Anna and Kristoff visit the camp for help, the trolls ignore the urgent need and instead join in the song that culminates with a wedding being performed on the two helpless humans. Kristoff informs them during the song that she is engaged and their response speaks volumes. They scheme: ‘So she’s a bit of a fixer upper. Her brain’s a bit betwixt. Get the fiance out of the way and the whole thing will be fixed!‘ They couldn’t care less about what Anna wants or even what she needs as she slowly freezes to death right in front of their eyes. They are solely focused on hooking Kristoff and Anna up.

The trollsBut here is where it all sealed for me. Up until the point of the movie when Anna returns home half frozen, Prince Hans has been nothing but a gentleman. He is helpful, caring and heroic. I mean he smiles when he sees Anna walking away when they first meet. And not a “I’m gonna kill you and your sister and my plans already set in motion.” smile. But a genuine sweet smile. Anna wasn’t even looking at him anymore, so why would he bother smiling? Yet when Anna asks for him to save her with a kiss, he reveals that he has been evil all along…but what if that wasn’t him talking? What if the trolls got to him first? Instead of going back to sleep after Kristoff & Anna left, what if they went to ‘fix’ the situation? We know that they could perform magic on the brain and we know that they have a way of doing what they want. So would it be too shocking if they beat Anna back to Hans, cast a spell on him turning him evil just to get him out of the way? Once Hans was removed, there would be no reason Anna & Kristoff couldn’t be together. But why was that so important?

Theory: What if the trolls are concerned for Kristoffs happiness? And when they see that Kristoff likes Anna, they want him to be happy. So when they hear that she has a fiance, they decide to get the fiance out of the way in order for Kristoff to be happy. I think that Kristoff definetly does love Anna. Whether its true love or not is the question.

So what if Hans and Kristoff both loved Anna but the trolls put Hans under a spell in order to make Kristoff happy? What if what Hans felt for Anna was true love, and even though Kristoff loves Anna, Kristoffs love isn’t true love? What if Hans is stuck in his own mind screaming as he watching himself lose his true love by his own hands. That for him, the open door never closed and he still loves Anna. I mean what if the spell of the trolls kicked in just before he was about to kiss her and the kiss would have saved Anna but also possibly have freed Hans from his spell? And now, since he’ll never receive true loves kiss, he’ll spend the rest of his days screaming in his own mind, trying to break the spell himself so he can win Anna back and dying with every moment he’s under the spell.

What if the open door never closed?

And as far as the trolls knowing about the key to Elsa’s powers. I don’t know. I mean they may not have known. But if they did know, maybe there was a good reason for not telling her. Maybe she needed to discover it for herself. Not be told what to do but feel what to do to control them. This is all just my opinion but I feel like its a decent assumption.

Yes, this is a little far-fetched, but if we can believe that Hans can do a complete 180…why not believe the trolls caused it?

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Fan Art Tuesday


20 Uncomfortably Disney Moments That Might Be Sexually Suggestive

Were these on purpose or are we all just perverts?

Check out these 20 disney moments that might be sexually suggestive.

1. Based on Shang’s behavior, pretty sure this is a pick-up line.

2. Some mind-searing implications to that boast.

3. Damn Elastigirl, get it.

 

4. Well that’s a damn shame.

5. Look there’s scientifically no way to say “quiver” without sounding dirty.

6. Merry Christmas!

7. Pac-Man likes his ladies inexperienced.

8. Hey lady, no means no.

9. Disney needs to work on aging up characters before having them say shit like this.

10. Pegasus is inspecting the goods.

11. Lumiere is lucky candelabra can’t get syphilis.

12. Should…should we be seeing this?

13. This feels like a trick question.

14. And this is definitely a trap. Nice try, Chris Hansen.

15. RUDE.

16. Mulan is 800% done with Mushu’s bullshit.

17. Yzma no.

18. Literally just realized Hades is Megara’s pimp.

19. And that Mole was trying to proposition* Kida.

20. Awkward. Shhhh. Just stop talking.

Errr..You know it.


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Fan Art Tuesday


This Disturbing Disney Fan Theory Might Alter Your Childhood Memories Forever

Most of us rememeber The Emperor’s New Groove as a fun movie about a self-absorbed king who got turned into a llama.

But Reddit user lish_94 has made a rather morbid observation that’ll make you reconsider everything you once believed.

You might remember the scene where Llama Kuzco wanders into the scary forest and sees this fly being devoured by a spider and begins to plead for its life.

The cries go unanswered, and it is eventually eaten by a vicious arachnid while still yelling, “HELP ME! HELP ME!”

This scene was clearly a reference to a 1958 sci-fi horror film called The Fly. But lish_94 claims it could mean so much more…

Because in the film, the only animals that can speak are the ones that used to be humans.

Take Kuzco: He can’t talk to other animals but can talk to humans.

Or Yzma in cat form, who also can talk to only humans.

But the squirrels in the film can only speak in squeaks. They don’t speak words like humans.

So it follows that the fly from the forest who audibly says, “Help me!” must have once been human.

Which also means a real human person just got murdered in front of our eyes.

Damn, Disney! You’re slipping some deep, dark stuff into your films! Childhood memories now forever altered!

Or we’re all reading way too much into this. Either one.


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Fan Art Tuesday


‘Frozen’ Might Have A Dark Secret That You Didn’t Notice

When it comes to “Frozen,” it’s hard to keep anything hidden. 

There’s an entire special about the making of the film, the cast has done a bajillion interviews and, c’mon, the whole movie is based on the fact that Elsa can’t hide her ice powers and sassy attitude.

Even with all that, it turns out “Frozen” may have a dark secret that Disney would probably rather conceal.

The Theory: Kristoff’s outfit is made out of reindeer skin (possibly from Sven’s mom).

Sounds like a pretty sweeping claim to make, but hear us out.

Reddit user Superclaude1 brought it to the world’s attention, that Kristoff’s outfit seems to be made of fur, and this would most likely be reindeer fur.

“In the context of the story, it all fits together,” superclaude1 wrote.

“The ice harvesters must have killed Sven’s mother, leaving a baby Sven for Kristoff to look after, and giving him the pelt to wear. This explains why Sven is so close to Kristoff too, and why Kristoff still wears the same pelt. The smell reminds Sven of his mum.”

The theory makes a fair bit of sense. In the film we learn why Sven is an orphan, and the reason he loves Kristoff so much.

Further evidence?

Kristoff is said to be part of the Scandinavian people known as the Sámi. These are Norway’s indigenous people and known for their reindeer herding.

According to Official Travel Guide of Norway, reindeer are “central to Sámi culture.” They rely on the animals for everything from meat to transportation and, yes, even fur.

Adding to the evidence, as Reddit points out, the pelt Kristoff appears to wear looks too big to be wolf, and parts of it seem oddly similar to Sven:

The user also points out that reindeer are attracted to scent – so did Kristoff dress himself in Sven’s mum’s coat to trick him into liking him so much?

We don’t know yet, but now that this theory is out there, and it’s hard to let it go.


Fan Art Tuesday

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12 Disney Characters Who Were Probably Gay

 

Wouldn’t your day just be that much brighter if you had Elsa and Anna from Frozen popping up with your Instagram feed with sisterly love? Simona Bonafini is the genius who tells you what it would look like if Disney characters had Instagram.

But we’ve got something better: we can tell you the 12 Disney characters who were probably gay. Awesome, right?

1.Timon (The Lion King)

Not only do Timon and Pumbaa seem to have a healthy, committed, gay relationship, but Timon jumps at the opportunity to “dress in drag and do the hula.”

2.Hades (Hercules)

Talk about flaming!

But seriously, Hades is the ultimate sassy gay villain.

3.Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid)

Scared shitless to kiss a girl, has to be hypnotized to fall in love with a woman?

Come out already, Prince Eric!

4.Governor Ratcliffe (Pocahontas)

Lushy and theatrical, Governor Ratcliffe was surely in heaven spending weeks on a ship surrounded by men.


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Fan Art Tuesday