When Disney announced that the follow-up to Star Wars: The Forec Awakens wouldn’t hit cinemas until December 15th 2017, we didn’t quite know how to feel.
Because that’s almost two years, and that’s bad. Our toy lightsabers will have probably run out of battery by then. But it also gives us plenty of time to digest some dense, mind-bending fan theories before we step into the theatre – and that’s not so bad.
Especially when the concepts are as imaginative and bulletproof as this epic effort by Imgur user LethalHobo, who’s got some big ideas about Rey and her ultimate role in the saga.
It’s a long one, so neck a few energy drinks before you start – it’s well worth it in the end.
a Dark side
So this Star Wars Saga is not the story of the Skywalkers. It is the story of the Chosen One, reborn, time, and time again, whenever the Force was shifted in its balanced.
To add to this theory, I have to say, I believe the Jedi were wrong in their belief that the Lght side must win. That the Light must be the dominant side of the Force. I believe this is untrue. I believe that in order for the Force to gain balance, it truly needs to be balanced. There is Light, and there is a Dark side to the Force, and to have balance, you need both. So whenever the Light becomes to strong, and the balance has shifted to far to the Light, I believe the Chosen One can be born to the Dark Side as well.
The next Disney princess to travel on a voyage of self-discovery will be arriving next year, and the head honchos at Disney hope their Polynesian princess is as popular as the Snow Queen-inspired duo.
Moana’s movie isn’t scheduled to debut until late 2016, but Disney recently shared details at its industry expo in Anaheim. Here’s what we know about her:
2. She’s got some sailing chops. Moana is a young woman with exceptional navigational ability who sets sail on a journey to find a legendary island in the region of Oceania.
3. She’s got some cute friends. Joining her on the journey are her pet pig, Pua, and Hei Hei the rooster. Like Olaf in “Frozen” and Dory in “Finding Nemo,” we’ll count on them for assistance and comedic relief as Moana meets the evildoers who would stop her from succeeding.
4. The Rock will be her rock. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has been cast as the demigod Maui, who was born human but was raised by gods. “This is my heritage,” an emotional Johnson told the audience at the Disney fan expo, according to Entertainment Weekly. “I am proudly half-Samoan and half-black.”
Here’s the gist: Three years ago, Elsa and Anna’s parents sailed off to a wedding (Flynn Ryder and Rapunzel’s wedding) and they died at sea. (Frozen came out almost exactly three years after Tangled did.) Their shipwreck is the one that Ariel explored in The Little Mermaid. It even makes sense geographically!
The king of Arrendelle is actually Rapunzel’s uncle and magic only affects blonde children in the family!
Baby Rapunzel and Elsa were both blonde. If Elsa’s dad was Rapunzel’s mom’s brother, then it would explain why he would want to hide Elsa’s powers. (His niece was kidnapped for her powers after all, by Mother Gothel!) Since both of these magical girls are blonde, it makes sense to say that magic has to do with a blonde trait. (Anna didn’t get any powers.)
Yes, Rapunzel was supposed to be a brunette as it turns out, and the only reason she’s blonde is because of the flower. Yes, all true. But! That doesn’t mean that the theory isn’t viable. Rapunzel’s genetics could have just been more susceptible to the magic of that flower. For all we know, the flower could have just awakened a power that Rapunzel might have had anyway if she had been born blonde. But because of the brown hair, the gene lay dormant. Anna, Elsa and Rapunzel look so much alike. Rapunzel and Eugene show up at Elsa’s coronation. We already have found a connection between the two films anyway.
And it makes sense that Elsa’s powers run in the family because her father seemed to know a lot more than he let on (knowing exactly what book to look into, knowing exactly how to get to the trolls, knowing the Troll King and vise versa.) I honestly think he may have had powers too. But to a weaker extent. He has dirty blonde hair, while Elsa’s has bleach blonde (and Rapunzel has honey blonde). I think her hair signifies how strong her powers are compared to her fathers. He may have powers himself, but much weaker than Elsa’s and that’s why he’s so dumbfounded on how to help her. At least, he doesn’t know how to help her completely because he doesn’t know how to deal with powers that strong. But, this is all just a theory and I can never completely prove anything. But, I don’t know..
Okay, based off Ursula, we can surmise that their might be other mermaids of her kind (her sister showing up in the sequel is the only proof of this though). But if there can be mermaids that are half octopus, why aren’t there any mermaids that are half some other kind of sea creature?
In all honesty, having multiple mermaid types would have actually have been pretty cool. They’d be like different races of mermaid. Though I wonder what would happen if a seal mermaid and a shark mermaid hooked up… That’d be interesting to see.
Now, I love “The Little Mermaid”, but some diversity among the mermaids would have been nice.
Maybe since Disney’s on it’s remake binge, maybe if they remake “The Little Mermaid”, they should take this idea and add some new types of mermaids.
In Disney’s film “The Little Mermaid“, Ariel longs to be on land, and when she sees Prince Eric. His ship hits a storm and he gets knocked out and would have drowned without her help. So she saves him and sings him awake. He wakes, kind of sees her and decides he has to find the girl who saved him and marry her. Now, Ariel, not knowing anything about him really, she decided that she has to be with him. So, she meets Ursula, the sea witch, and asks Ursula to help her. Ursula offers her a deal: “I give you legs, and you get three days to get dear old princey to fall in love with you and get him to kiss you. If you don’t get him to before the suns sets on the third day, you turn back into a mermaid and I own you. All I want is your voice as payment.”
Now at that point, I’d be thinking, “Uh, hell no. I’ll find some other way. I’m not giving a piece of me for some guy I barely know and there’s no guarantee that it’ll work.” But Ariel doesn’t think like me obviously. Because she takes the deal, get’s her legs, and gives up her voice. No more talking, singing. Zip. She get’s on land, and by chance, Eric finds her, thanks to his dog Max. But since she can’t talk and he knows that the girl who saved him was singing, he figures it can’t be her. So he just decides to help her anyway. and for three days, Scuttle and Sebastian are trying to help her and to no avail, and during the second night, Ursula sees that Ariel is getting close so she disguises herself as a human named Vanessa, hypnotizes Eric, and gets him to marry her. Ariel’s heart broken. But Scuttle finds out it’s Ursula in disguise and tells Ariel, Sebastian and Flounder. Scuttle and other sea creatures stall the wedding and Ariel get’s there just in time for Ursula’s necklace, containing Ariel’s voice to break and Ariel gets her voice back and Eric’s hypnotism is broken and he realizes she’s “the one” and goes to kiss but the sun sets before he can and she goes mermaid. Long story short, Ariel and Eric kill Ursula, Triton, Ariel’s dad, realizes she does love Eric, and turns her into a human. Ariel gets what she wanted.
Now I get a couple things from this. One: change everything for a guy you want but hardly know. That’s a terrible message to send to girls. Ariel gave up everything for Eric when there was no guarantee that she’d get the prince.
Second: Disobey your parents. Don’t worry, you’ll get what you want in the end. Triton forbade her to go to the surface and she disobeyed him and when he finds out,instead of punishing her like a parent should, he gives her what she wanted. Talk about spoiling your kids.
Thirdly: How do we know that they had true love? I mean, he didn’t get to kiss her before the sun set. I mean, love, sure. But true love? I don’t know. And you have to think there’d be a lot of issues in that relationship, seeing as she grew up in the sea and is probably vegetarian and won’t eat seafood. And Eric’s kingdom obviously must rely mostly on seafood. Meaning Eric probably grew up on a steady diet of Ariel’s friends. Hhmmm. Probably not the best match in my opinion.
My first point is this: Is Prince Charming an idiot or what? I mean, okay, you didn’t get her name, but you were dancing with her for most of the night. Okay, you’re a guy so you may have been looking at her chest half the time, but you had to know what her face looked like, right? Apparently not. So, not remembering anything else about poor Cinderella, other than the fact that she’s a good dancer and she lost a size 4 1/2 (This is stated that it’s this size in “Cinderella: A Twist In Time“, a completely unneeded sequel in my opinion…) glass high heel, you start searching for her by having every girl in the kingdom try it on…. Geez this guy is dumb. And he’s going to be king someday. Yikes.
My second point is: Does anyone know the original story? In the original story, Cinderella isn’t so innocent. Her father was a widower, and had already remarried, to a woman who was perfectly fine. Not evil at all. Just didn’t show Cindy any special treatment. Just treated her as a normal daughter. But Cinderella had a governess who wanted to marry Cindy’s dad. So she told Cinderella that if she got rid of her stepmother and got her father to marry her instead, that she would lavish her. Cinderella agreed willingly and slammed a chest on her stepmothers neck. Shortly after, her governess married her father and brought with her, SEVEN daughters who she lavished with affection and spoiled. And when Cinderella’s father died, they started treating her like a slave and from there you can follow the rest of the story. Cinderella wasn’t as innocent as she seemed.
Thirdly and lastly: Why did Disney draw her so unrealistically? I mean, yeah, Snow White was small. But She was actually drawn a little chubbier. Snow in the merchandise is skinny of course, But in the film itself, she actually looks like a slightly chubby fourteen year old, like she’s supposed to be. But Cinderella started the trend of drawing the super skinny waists on the Disney girls. And in all honesty, what little size she has, I wouldn’t be surprised if under her clothes, she was at least two sizes smaller. Cinderella started the habit Disney has with their female characters and it didn’t stop until their fairly recent film “Brave“, with the introduction of Princess Merida with her size 6-8 waist and slightly chubby face. She is still very small, but she’s bigger than the usual size 4-2 that Disney Princesses usually are. I just hope their upcoming film “Moana” will be a little bigger around the waist because looking at “Lilo and Stitch“, people of Polynesian decent tend to be chubby, and Moana, of course, has already been revealed to be Polynesian. Hopefully Disney is coming out of it’s size two Dark Ages with “Moana“, but I blame “Cinderella” for starting the trend.
This ending to “Fantasia” (or near the end, I don’t recall) sequence is probably the most disturbing and creepy thing I had ever seen when I was a kid. As far as I know, this was depicting Hell, and Chernabog (the creature you see smiling up there) was a sort of Satan character. He summoned all these spirits to his lair, and then proceeded to toy with them. One sequence I remember most vividly is when he picks up a bunch of people, turns them into dancing ladies, then into hideous demons, and then THROWS THEM INTO LAVA. It’s pretty fucking scary and I was pretty young when I first saw it.
While I’m game for any hellish reference, Disney is the only place where I think you SHOULD NOT DO THIS! Are they trying to scar kids for life. After seeing this the first time, I just skip this sequence every time I watch “Fantasia“. This is by far, one of the most screwed up things Disney has come up with.